Do you keep sending birthday cards w/ money inside to great-nephews/nieces if you never get a thank-you?

I used to be close to my niece but after she got out of college %26amp; mixed up with a guy that has been arrested several times she changed - a lot. She has 2 little boys that we only see during the holiday or at weddings/funerals/etc. I am the only aunt that sends a birthday card to the boys %26amp; I put money inside but she never says thank you (they boys are too little to acknowledge the cards %26amp; money). I have to send her an email to make sure the cards got there and she responds with yes but never thank you. I always buy for her boys at Christmas but she never says thank you - I am getting tired of it because I am the only one in the family (other than the grandparents / great-grandparents) who spend any money on these boys. I love buying for the boys but I get tired of trying to help out with extra gifts when the parents don't even say thanks - I am debating as to if I should buy this year or not. Others have stopped helping her because she doesn't seem to appreciate it. What would you do?

Do you keep sending birthday cards w/ money inside to great-nephews/nieces if you never get a thank-you?
Send a card to the house and purchase a savings bond for whatever holiday you are acknowledging. That way the kids get (or at least you hope they are getting) the 'happy xxx' from you but the mom doesn't get your cash. When the bond (or the kids - which ever comes first) mature you can either give them the bonds or cash them in and re-invest them in their names. I'm a busy single mom and I have to admit that I am occasionally lax in sending thank you notes but I always recognize the things that are done for my daughter when they are brought to my attention (like with a follow up ---- did you get XXX) and with an apology for failing to thank who ever sent something.





Don't send any more cash - if the idea of bonds isn't favorable then get gift certificates for clothing stores appropriate for their ages - not Sears or something but somewhere that the gifts can ONLY be used for the boys.





I can't in good faith say - stop doing for them -- however, you can tailor your gifts to make sure that the boys who aren't old enough to know better are the beneficiaries rather than their mother who should - by all accounts - thank you for your generosity and thoughtfulness
Reply:Instead of buying something, make a donation in their name instead with the money you would have spent. It's kind of a slap in the face to them but at the same time it's going to people who truly appreciate your generosity. I wouldn't continue giving to people who don't show appreciation.
Reply:You should do whatever you want to do...the boys are lucky to have such a thoughtful aunt, even if they are too little to understand the meaning of cards/money...Hopefully once they get a little older they will start thanking you on their own.
Reply:well i guess you need to look inside your heart and wonder are you sending the gifts because you want someone to think you're awesome for sending them a gift. or do you just want to make someone happy because they got a gift from great-aunt suzy?
Reply:If you are sending the gifts to feel good about yourself, then stop.


If you are sending them to make the boys feel good, then continue.
Reply:You should have stopped doing it the second time she didn't thank you. Don't reward rudeness.
Reply:Generosity shouldn't require a thank you. If you need one then quit sending gifts.
Reply:well that sukx....u should stop doin that probbbably she doesnt even care...or just tell her...if she has some manners..?
Reply:It sounds as though she's involved with some bad influence. I pity the children. My guess is the money you send isn't going to the kids. You may want to buy savings bonds in their names and giving them to them when they're old enough and hopefully have developed a sense of appreciation. Don't lose contact with the boys. They're going to need a positive influence as they grow up. Your heart is in the right place. Good luck.
Reply:It must be quite saddening that they don't say thank you.


If I was in your shoes, I would stop send the money. If the parents don't say thank you, it indicates that they don't appreciate the extra gifts you're giving to their kids. You also don't see the boys often anyway so they're not close to you anyway -there's no emotional attachment involved for them at all. Also, there's no-one who looks after them that can teach them manners and appreciation towards and for you.